my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
