You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
