Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
