mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
