Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
