Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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