we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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