I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
