so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
