I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
