she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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