well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
did you just send me my own nude
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
