we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
