Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
