My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
