the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
