dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
