2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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