Capitaan dildo arrescate!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
