so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
