You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
