just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
