Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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