He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
