I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
