I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
