you win again, gameday.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
