can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
