You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
