I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
