OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
