So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
farters have to be the big spoon...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
