Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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