It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
