You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
