I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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