PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
