Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
