I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
