I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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