Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

what's the vibe there?

(917): View more from New York City

extraordinary amounts of gine

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(315): View more from New York

Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.

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(407): View more from Florida

Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now

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(903): View more from Texas

He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

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(515): View more from Iowa

we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face

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