Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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