Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
