I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
try to milk me bitch
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