I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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