She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
