I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
