if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have already put on my inside pants.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize