just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's just like the Real World with babies
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
