Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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