Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
