Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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