I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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